Rats On A Lap

Star of Ratatouille or Paris Hilton's new fur accessory?

I just thought you all should know... I hate tiny dogs. Not big ones, not short ones, not tall ones, not mid sized ones, but the ones that are just right for punting! God damn "rats on a lap" are what they are if you ask me!

Rude and shameless creatures. Case and point, disrespecting Bill! He does look good with a stache though...

Once upon a time, when I was 16, I went to my friends house after soccer practice where I was charged by a small, vicious and evil Pomeranian. It was towards the end of soccer season and I was in top form for the finals. Lets just say that within 10 seconds of walking through the front door my foot was covered in fur, the dog stopped barking as it sailed through the air and I was asked to leave by an angry mother whose husband and child applauded me as cried from laughter.
Judging from the size of the bone I could easily punt this lil' fucker at least 30 feet.

Said dog was severely injured from the 15 foot punt and is forever terrified of all Vans Classics.
The root boots that started it all. They are to me what steel toed boots are to skinheads... necessary and deadly!

In short, keeping those fucking suburban rats out of my sight! I will not hesitate to strike again...

STAY TUNED FOR MY NEXT POST... SUCK IT TREBEK!